A Friendly Nudge - Be That Friend
...because we all could use a little encouragement!
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We can’t help ourselves. The headline pulls us in with a promise about some magical part of the world where they seem to grow centenarians and we breathlessly devour the article looking for their secret elixir. Sometimes they even tease us with glimpses into the diets of these superhumans. Increasingly, and maybe disappointingly, we’re finding out that these “blue zones” have one particular thing in common and that’s poor record keeping. It is probably more about a lack of fidelity with birth and death records than some type of magical purple potatoes. (But I do love purple potatoes)
There does seem to be one thing that I consistently see in all of the blue zone literature that I think is absolutely on point and that is the value of community. People feeling connected to others and not feeling isolated.
That brings me to Victor. Victor was a natural connector. Victor moved to the US from India to go to school and while earning his engineering degree he bartended to put himself through school. He had to have been one of the world’s greatest bartenders. He never met a stranger and after being around Victor for 10 minutes you’d swear that you’d known him all your life.
When Victor, Carol, and their daughter Leah moved into our cul-de-sac the whole tone of that part of the neighborhood changed. Within just a few weeks the cul-de-sac parties started, Victor playing bartender and Carol always making something delicious to eat. They both just had an ease about them and a gift for making people feel seen, valued, and appreciated.
Their generosity and hospitality extended beyond the cul-de-sac as I found out later that both of them played a hands-on role in increasing the charitable outreach of their church, not just financially but personally taking food, clothing and personal items to folks that were struggling to make ends meet.
When Covid first started rolling and had everyone a little freaked out, our gatherings moved outside to the cul-de-sac as Victor and Carol continued to be the social glue for our piece of the neighborhood.
As soon as the golf courses reopened, I found myself part of Victor’s 2 pm Wednesday afternoon golf group. We played at a nearby municipal course and we always walked 18 holes. If it was pouring down rain we wouldn’t play, but that was about the only exception. There were plenty of days when it was 105℉ when we teed off at 2 pm and some days it was 35℉ and windy.
Around November or December of 2022, Victor was convinced that he must have pulled a muscle playing golf, and he made an appointment to see his doc, the doctor confirmed that suspicion.
But instead of getting better, the abdominal pain started getting worse. This prompted his doc to refer him for some imaging and in February of 2023 Victor was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He died just 2 months later.
As I’m writing this, I can still see Victor with this infectious smile on his face. I miss him almost every day and without fail, I think about him every Wednesday at 2:00.
The world needs more Victors. I’m a lot more of an introvert than Victor, but I try to honor Victor’s example by being a little kinder and a little more curious about peoples’ stories. I invite you to do the same or to find your own way to foster community and to help people feel connected.
Victor’s favorite holiday was St. Patty’s Day, so we’re making a kale salad so you can have something green for St. Patty’s that’s tasty and not too gimmicky. I’ll also be hoisting a glass of Talmore Dew in Victor’s Honor! Cheer’s Bud!
Food is such a great way to bring people together and with St. Patty’s just around the corner we’ll make something green that’s not too gimmicky.
Kale, Apple and Cheese Salad
I love Dubliner or Coastal Cheeses because they’re hearty, salty and a perfect compliment with the kale and apple. I top it off with some pecorino romano so since the cheeses are salty I’d go easy with any extra salt. I added just a touch when I massaged the olive oil into the kale leaves.
Ingredients:
One bunch of kale, stems removed and discarded
2-3 oz hearty cheddar like Dubliner or Costal, cut into small cubes
2 apples, cored and diced
1 handful of pecans chopped
Pecorino Romano or Parmigiano Reggiano - grate enough to cover the top of the salad
2 tbsp lemon juice
¼-⅓ cup EVOO
1 tsp dijon mustard
This one is super easy but it’s also sort of a blank canvas. The recipe that I saw didn’t have pecans and it only had one ounce of cheddar, no mustard in the dressing, no pecans and only one apple. If you don’t have something in the dressing to act as an emulsifier then the oil and the lemon juice will separate. The dijon acts as that emulsifier, so would maple syrup or honey or an egg yolk. The extra cheese and the additional apple increase the chances that you’ll get some in almost every bite.
If you’re not using kale that has already been washed make sure you rinse it enough times that you get off all of the grit. Nothing ruins a salad like a little grit and sand.
Put the salad in a bowl and put just a small amount of olive oil on it and rub it into the leaves and massage the kale. This helps break down the leaves a little and makes it more tender and digestible.
Add the apple, pecans (or if you’re feeling it, toast some pine nuts) and cheddar cheese.
Top with a little of the dressing and then grate pecorino or parmigiano to cover the top of the salad.
Slainte!
Now that we’ve got a side for St. Patty’s day that works, let’s put together enough exercise snacks to give you plenty of options for next week.
Skip any that you don’t feel ready for and adjust the number of repetitions and sets so that it challenges you a little but not so that you’re so sore the next day that you don’t feel like moving. Think of it as a marathon and not a sprint.